it have been a long time since i have updated my blog,ever since i came back??

i have pitched for my film, do greatly hope will be chosen, so that i can control the timing. *right? God?? =)*
today is 16 July 2007, five months after my popo have passed away, i miss her badly still. Each time i think of her, i will either just smile, or have tears dwelling in my eyes. you might think i am emotional, however, to think about, missing and feeling sad for one person that have impacted my life greatly is something, (for the first time) not wrong. well, God has given us the right to feel for things, because He have given us FEELings.

I have always been wondering, if one day, it is my turn and time to leave this world, who will actually really cry and think of me. Imagine, instead of people being sad about your loss, or your exsistence on earth have "time-up", they are like celebrating with champagne and partying, i think i will like feel even more sad than leaving them.

I remember Dorcas once said, what matters and makes people remember you is not what were you or what you have done, but is when you manage to leave a legacy behind. which is pretty true.

Was talking to Melissa the other day and came to a conclusion, raising up to higher level is one thing, but have to really bear in mind that "Light produces Light". wanting to discipline people is one thing, but looking at self and the level of discipline before doing it, is a totally different thing. I then talked to Chard and really talked a lot. about both Spiritual stuff and our relationship, if we did not hold on, we might have long broken up, but he is such a nice BF, i dont seem willing to just shortchange myself, he thought the same way too, that is also a reason why we have not actually parted ways.

God, the joy of the Lord is my strength! i might be weary, tired and do not really want to carry on in certain things, but if the things are pleasing to you, i am willing to do it. because i need you for my strength.

*Find me in Your Holiness
Lead me in Your Righteousness
How i love You
Beautiful Saviour

When i'm weak You make me strong
Bearing my cross I carry on
How i need You
Heavenly Father

Search my heart oh Lord
You know my every thought
An open book to You
I place my all in Your hands

Falling at Your feet
As my whole world fades away
Falling at your feet
Let my life be wholly thine
My life be wholly thine
Jesus

Emmanuel
Emmanuel
Abba Father never let me go
Emmanuel
Emmanuel
Abba Father never let me go*